E90Post
 


European Auto Source
 
BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > Exremely Depressed After Talking To Divorce Lawyer. Need Advice



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      08-31-2011, 03:47 PM   #23
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by silvergray545 View Post
If you have to pay 1-2k in consultations to find out you may have to pay less than 56k a year sounds worth it to me.

When I get married, I'm making that bitch sign a prenup.
It is a MUST. I wish I had known better when I was 24
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 03:51 PM   #24
bmwmthree
Captain
 
bmwmthree's Avatar
 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: so cal

Posts: 699
iTrader: (8)

1. break your hand so the judge can't say you can get another job.
2. ???
3. profit

all kidding aside, best of luck to you..
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvMyRide View Post
And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
bmwmthree is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 03:51 PM   #25
NYCGP
WTF are you looking at?
 
NYCGP's Avatar
 
Drives: Bandwagon
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Jungle

Posts: 1,578
iTrader: (0)

Fine! I will be the first to say it. It would be much cheaper if she went on a trip and didn't come back...
__________________
"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."
-André Gide
NYCGP is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 03:55 PM   #26
F82_SID
Brigadier General
 
F82_SID's Avatar
 
Drives: 2011.5 MR/BB E92 M3
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Denver, CO. USA

Posts: 3,082
iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by carve View Post
Hmmmm...assuming you have a lot of money, put enough for college into a trust fund for your daughter, hide as much as you can in a swiss account, get yourself fired, get a job that pays similar to your wife, find a low-paying job close to home, and tell your wife you'll look for a better job when she does.

She's probably doesn't like you any more than you like her, so once the gravy train runs dry she'll hook up with some other human wallet.

Are you self employed? If so, if you get remarried, 'sell' the business to your new wife and have her pay you, say, $20k per year. I know someone who has done this.


Or, if you want to try to make it work, I know someone this worked for.

Quit your jobs and sell your stuff. Buy a sailboat and cruise around the Carribean for a year. Start over.
I hate when people say this! Getting 50% of 100k is better then 50% of 20k.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silvergray545 View Post
If you have to pay 1-2k in consultations to find out you may have to pay less than 56k a year sounds worth it to me.

When I get married, I'm making that bitch sign a prenup.
That is the only way I am getting married again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
I hear you. Unfortunately I am not self employed.

But the lawyer said that even if I quit my job she would still get alimony because I have potential of getting similar paying jobs.

Life sucks
This is very true. Sucks bro. I know when I was going through my divorce the first thing I thought was that I was going to have sell my bimmer and my house and get an apartment and chevy colbolt.
__________________
2011/E92/M3/MR/BB/ZCV/ZP2/EDC/2MT
F82_SID is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 03:56 PM   #27
Wakka
but no flokka
 
Wakka's Avatar
 
Drives: 2009 1er
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tampa

Posts: 438
iTrader: (0)

As my dad always says....

'Baby I love you but... sign here'

talking about a prenup.
__________________
M-Sport, 6MT, Hardwired V1, StopTech Sportpack, Perf. Intake, Perf. Exhaust, AFE Scoops, Perf. Carbon Spoiler, Perf. Carbon Diffuser, Enkei RPF1's, Conti Extreme DW's

Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
Entourage sucks. BTM hates everything
Wakka is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:01 PM   #28
bumere90
Grozniy
 
Drives: Carless
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: FL

Posts: 2,588
iTrader: (12)

OP, don't divorce. It will cost you more at the end
__________________
-fatman
bumere90 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:06 PM   #29
F82_SID
Brigadier General
 
F82_SID's Avatar
 
Drives: 2011.5 MR/BB E92 M3
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Denver, CO. USA

Posts: 3,082
iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumere90 View Post
OP, don't divorce. It will cost you more at the end
This might not be a bad idea. We are not saying to stay with her, just dont divorce her. Legal separation maybe? Either way, the longer you can drag it out and refuse to sign a deal or sign divorce papers then the longer you can postpone giving her all that crap. I do however hope that you still provide everything that you daughter needs in the mean time.
__________________
2011/E92/M3/MR/BB/ZCV/ZP2/EDC/2MT
F82_SID is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:23 PM   #30
carve
Major
 
carve's Avatar
 
Drives: 335i
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: usa

Posts: 1,098
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by E92_SID View Post
I hate when people say this! Getting 50% of 100k is better then 50% of 20k.


.
You misunderstand. The first suggestion was a way to prompt her to find another human wallet. The second was a suggestion on how to patch things up.

How could they charge you what you potentially might be able to make? Do they expect you to live on zero dollars? Do they base her needs on what she could potentially make?
carve is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:25 PM   #31
Turbo>NA
xbox gamertag: HuGeBluEmOnKeY
 
Turbo>NA's Avatar
 
Drives: M-Sport LCI
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SoCal (626)

Posts: 3,762
iTrader: (2)

This is a pointless thread. OP PM me, I know a secret.
__________________

E92 335i alpine white | black dokota | auto | zpp | zsp | heated | iPod
- ltbmw : vorsteiner : linea corsa : h&r : k&n : e92-lighting : expectalot-vinyl -
--GONE--
Turbo>NA is offline   Armenia
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:31 PM   #32
bmwmthree
Captain
 
bmwmthree's Avatar
 
Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: so cal

Posts: 699
iTrader: (8)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbo>NA View Post
This is a pointless thread. OP PM me, I know a secret.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvMyRide View Post
And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
bmwmthree is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:32 PM   #33
Kroy
Brigadier General
 
Kroy's Avatar
 
Drives: E90
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Posts: 3,035
iTrader: (1)

what if you have several low paying jobs in the course of a year or two. would that show you are incapable of earning high wage?
Kroy is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:35 PM   #34
Crimson92
Smiling Politely
 
Crimson92's Avatar
 
Drives: Like a boss
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Whales Vagina

Posts: 28,621
iTrader: (3)

geezzus...cheaper to keep her
Crimson92 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:37 PM   #35
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by E92_SID View Post
This might not be a bad idea. We are not saying to stay with her, just dont divorce her. Legal separation maybe? Either way, the longer you can drag it out and refuse to sign a deal or sign divorce papers then the longer you can postpone giving her all that crap. I do however hope that you still provide everything that you daughter needs in the mean time.
Off course I will do everything I can to make sure that she gets best of what she needs.

I though about the separation. But it didn't sound too good. First I still have to pay my current home's expenses since she does not make enough money. Then I have to rent an apartment. And the worst part is knowing that she is controlling my life. Alos it would be very difficult dor me to have any type of relationship since I am still married and living in a shitty apartment.

Either way I am f***ed
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:40 PM   #36
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kroy View Post
what if you have several low paying jobs in the course of a year or two. would that show you are incapable of earning high wage?
That would allow me to pay her little alimony for the time being. But once I start making more money she will definetely come after me as she is legally entitled to. So financially there is nothing to gain
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:43 PM   #37
grieverr
Private First Class
 
Drives: '09 335 coupe
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NJ

Posts: 166
iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by carve View Post
How could they charge you what you potentially might be able to make? Do they expect you to live on zero dollars?
Unfortunately, they do, at least in NJ. I heard about a guy in a similar situation, made 100k, had to give his ex-wife about half. He then lost his job, and got a way lower paying job (as per him, due to the economy, not that he was trying to be slick). He went to court many times and they never re-adjusted what he had to pay.
What they do is put you on a payment plan that you'll never be able to pay, until you have x amount in arrears, and the get hit with an arrest warrant.

so basically, he could only pay 20k of the 50k, so the following year he owed the 30k remaining from the previous year plus the 50k for that year, making it 80k, and the year after that 110k. It was ludicrous.

EDIT: I think the warrant is for child support, not alimony.
grieverr is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:44 PM   #38
jcreme
Private
 
jcreme's Avatar
 
Drives: 2003.5 M3
Join Date: May 2011
Location: West Houston

Posts: 76
iTrader: (0)

Commit to counseling and get it fixed. It's infinitely cheaper and happier. You cannot see this now, but please take my word for it. You will be forced by the court to have a relationship with your wife (through alimony and all the child rearing issues) anyway.

I am divorced and happily remarried and have a black cloud of doubt, debt, and remorse that follows me around anyway.

Man-up and make it work. This is your best chance for happiness. Let me restate, you WILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP with your wife for the rest of your life. Do you want it to be a legal-conflict based one or one you define?

And I really feel for you, man. Nothing is worse.
jcreme is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:46 PM   #39
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by grieverr View Post
Unfortunately, they do, at least in NJ. I heard about a guy in a similar situation, made 100k, had to give his ex-wife about half. He then lost his job, and got a way lower paying job (as per him, due to the economy, not that he was trying to be slick). He went to court many times and they never re-adjusted what he had to pay.
What they do is put you on a payment plan that you'll never be able to pay, until you have x amount in arrears, and the get hit with an arrest warrant.

so basically, he could only pay 20k of the 50k, so the following year he owed the 30k remaining from the previous year plus the 50k for that year, making it 80k, and the year after that 110k. It was ludicrous.

EDIT: I think the warrant is for child support, not alimony.
Unfortunately that's how it is.

So I have WARNING for those who are palnning get married. TALK TO A LAWYER AND SIGN A PRENUP TO COVER YOUR ASS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED.

Last edited by mylydiamy; 08-31-2011 at 04:51 PM.
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:50 PM   #40
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcreme View Post
Commit to counseling and get it fixed. It's infinitely cheaper and happier. You cannot see this now, but please take my word for it. You will be forced by the court to have a relationship with your wife (through alimony and all the child rearing issues) anyway.

I am divorced and happily remarried and have a black cloud of doubt, debt, and remorse that follows me around anyway.

Man-up and make it work. This is your best chance for happiness. Let me restate, you WILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP with your wife for the rest of your life. Do you want it to be a legal-conflict based one or one you define?

And I really feel for you, man. Nothing is worse.
Thanks. I hear you. But I am not sure if thsi will work. We almost got divorced 3 times before and decided to give it a more more try. And each time we ended up the same place where we started.

If I had done this 3-4 years ago I wouldn't have had to pay her ant alimony since she was making a lot more as I was making less (almost same amount of money). I could have gotton away with just child support which is not bad.
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:52 PM   #41
Kroy
Brigadier General
 
Kroy's Avatar
 
Drives: E90
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Posts: 3,035
iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
Off course I will do everything I can to make sure that she gets best of what she needs.

I though about the separation. But it didn't sound too good. First I still have to pay my current home's expenses since she does not make enough money. Then I have to rent an apartment. And the worst part is knowing that she is controlling my life. Alos it would be very difficult dor me to have any type of relationship since I am still married and living in a shitty apartment.

Either way I am f***ed
You know... since you're already 19 years deep into this, why don't you just grind out 4 more years? Your daughter is 14, right? After she's 18, at least there's no child support. Plan out your moves in the next couple years.
Kroy is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:52 PM   #42
MediaArtist
There is No Substitute
 
MediaArtist's Avatar
 
Drives: Audi A6, 997 GT3 RS, E90 335i
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Laguna Beach, CA

Posts: 1,189
iTrader: (0)

Sad situation. I'll say a prayer for you bud.
__________________
'13 Audi A6
'07 Porsche GT3 RS
'08 BMW E90 335i
MediaArtist is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:54 PM   #43
GetSomeE92
Major
 
Drives: '09 Space Gray E92
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Miami, FL

Posts: 1,062
iTrader: (7)

That sucks, man. Best of luck to you.

As for prenups, depending on your jurisdiction, a prenuptial agreement will only protect pre-marriage assets. What you make during the marriage will still be subject to you getting F-ed over unless you include a clause to modify or eliminate spousal maintenance. Even still, a court can always throw out the agreement if the court determines it was unconscionable when made.

Just make sure you get a good attorney to write one up, and make sure the soon-to-be-spouse seeks independent legal advice regarding the agreement before signing it.
GetSomeE92 is offline   United_States
0
Reply With Quote
      08-31-2011, 04:56 PM   #44
mylydiamy
Lieutenant
 
Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

Posts: 512
iTrader: (1)

Send a message via Yahoo to mylydiamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kroy View Post
You know... since you're already 19 years deep into this, why don't you just grind out 4 more years? Your daughter is 14, right? After she's 18, at least there's no child support. Plan out your moves in the next couple years.
Child support (~1200-1500) is nothing compared to alimony (~3500). Also child support continues until she graduates from college, so another 8 years or so...
mylydiamy is offline  
0
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:32 AM.




e90post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST