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      11-26-2007, 05:57 AM   #1
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What are my boundaries as a friend?

Hey guys, I have a situation here where one of my friends is about make a really dumb decision that could affect me. He wants to buy a Lexus IS250 awd with his parents putting down 8-10k (btw, hes 26 years old). From what I've read you can get one for about $5k off msrp. Now, with his monthly payment for the car being around $500 and after rent, utils, credit cards, loans, and gas, he'll have $320 a month left for food, entertainment, and other misc expenses. He doesn't pay for his cell phone, car insurance, and doesn't have any retirement plan or health insurance. I think it will be nearly impossible to live that way without racking up credit card debt. I pay for the rent and all the utils up front and he and my other house mate pays me their portion. The problem is that he already has a hard time paying me but he thinks he can still afford the car if he changes his lifestyle a bit. He needs a car and I've tried to steer him towards different cars but with me getting a 335i coupe and another close buddy getting a used 350z he feels that he needs a nice car as well...I've tried to be up front about it asking him if he can really afford such a car. I've also tried telling him that there are a lot more things that he will need to have money for other than food and fun, such as gifts for parents, brother, weddings, new tires, brakes, girlfriend if he gets one, and etc... I've run out of ideas on what to do. He already has a little bit of trouble with credit card usage and I feel like its imminent that he'll rack up crazy cc debts with the car. I just don't want to see him make a decision like this that he will totally regret after the novelty of owning the car wears off. I also don't want to be screwed over by him not being able to pay me on time.
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      11-26-2007, 06:25 AM   #2
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ask for the rent in advance!
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      11-26-2007, 07:46 AM   #3
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Ask him go move out. If he's 26 and in a financial shit storm like that he's apparently blinded already. He'll fully take advantage of your guys friendship when bill time rolls around. Everything else gets paid and the friend can wait. I had to deal with that in college, I'll never do it again.
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      11-26-2007, 07:55 AM   #4
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Be very clear with him. Let him know that he already has trouble paying the rent. If he gets this new car you're concerned about him paying the rent. If he he late on this payment by 30 days he will be asked to leave.

Just keep it simple.
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      11-26-2007, 08:10 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blk636 View Post
Hey guys, I have a situation here where one of my friends is about make a really dumb decision that could affect me. He wants to buy a Lexus IS250 awd with his parents putting down 8-10k (btw, hes 26 years old). From what I've read you can get one for about $5k off msrp. Now, with his monthly payment for the car being around $500 and after rent, utils, credit cards, loans, and gas, he'll have $320 a month left for food, entertainment, and other misc expenses. He doesn't pay for his cell phone, car insurance, and doesn't have any retirement plan or health insurance. I think it will be nearly impossible to live that way without racking up credit card debt. I pay for the rent and all the utils up front and he and my other house mate pays me their portion. The problem is that he already has a hard time paying me but he thinks he can still afford the car if he changes his lifestyle a bit. He needs a car and I've tried to steer him towards different cars but with me getting a 335i coupe and another close buddy getting a used 350z he feels that he needs a nice car as well...I've tried to be up front about it asking him if he can really afford such a car. I've also tried telling him that there are a lot more things that he will need to have money for other than food and fun, such as gifts for parents, brother, weddings, new tires, brakes, girlfriend if he gets one, and etc... I've run out of ideas on what to do. He already has a little bit of trouble with credit card usage and I feel like its imminent that he'll rack up crazy cc debts with the car. I just don't want to see him make a decision like this that he will totally regret after the novelty of owning the car wears off. I also don't want to be screwed over by him not being able to pay me on time.

Do you live in an apartment ?? Is he on the lease ?? Why are you paying the rent for everyone and then trying to collect from your roommates ??
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      11-26-2007, 08:15 AM   #6
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Wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.....
There are givers and there are takers.
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      11-26-2007, 08:17 AM   #7
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run him over and steal his car
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      11-26-2007, 08:18 AM   #8
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run him over and steal his car
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      11-26-2007, 09:13 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadDog View Post
Do you live in an apartment ?? Is he on the lease ?? Why are you paying the rent for everyone and then trying to collect from your roommates ??
We are renting a house right now and he is on the lease. I pay it up front because its easier to pay with 1 check.
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      11-26-2007, 09:39 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blk636 View Post
We are renting a house right now and he is on the lease. I pay it up front because its easier to pay with 1 check.
It doesn't matter. The leasing company/owner would never kick out just 1 of the renters on the lease. 1 person defaults and the rest can go with him.

I was also in a similar situation and me and another roommate went to speak with our rental company. We asked if just us 2 can pay out portions so that they would see the other renter doesn't pay us and we could no longer carry him, then they could remove him without us fully confronting him since we already had to on my other joint bill fronts. They said no, and that if we didn't pay in full they would evict all of us. It's a shitty situation to be in. Friends are the worst people ever to trust with lending/fronting money. Your the last to get paid and the least respected.

Maybe speak to his parents? Ultimately you'll have to decide how much his friendship is worth to you.
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      11-26-2007, 09:41 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blk636 View Post
We are renting a house right now and he is on the lease. I pay it up front because its easier to pay with 1 check.
Then I would not do that. By paying his portion of the rent, you then have to collect from him. You're just setting yourself up with trying to collect from him if he can't pay. Good luck.
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      11-26-2007, 09:44 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by darkcloud View Post
It doesn't matter. The leasing company/owner would never kick out just 1 of the renters on the lease. 1 person defaults and the rest can go with him.

I was also in a similar situation and me and another roommate went to speak with our rental company. We asked if just us 2 can pay out portions so that they would see the other renter doesn't pay us and we could no longer carry him, then they could remove him without us fully confronting him since we already had to on my other joint bill fronts. They said no, and that if we didn't pay in full they would evict all of us. It's a shitty situation to be in. Friends are the worst people ever to trust with lending/fronting money. Your the last to get paid and the least respected.

Maybe speak to his parents? Ultimately you'll have to decide how much his friendship is worth to you.

+1. I'd also add that they may evict one person on the lease, but it would be up to the other roommates to make up the difference in the rent until another roommate can be found. Bottom line - the leaser wants the rent money paid each month in a timely manner.
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      11-26-2007, 09:49 AM   #13
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I'm really not worried about him not paying me, he'll get the money from his parents. I just don't want to see him make such a stupid move like that. Hopefully his parents know of his financial situation and don't agree to cosign for such a car. I just don't think its worth it to live like you're homeless to drive a nicer car than you can afford.
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      11-26-2007, 09:57 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blk636 View Post
I'm really not worried about him not paying me, he'll get the money from his parents. I just don't want to see him make such a stupid move like that. Hopefully his parents know of his financial situation and don't agree to cosign for such a car. I just don't think its worth it to live like you're homeless to drive a nicer car than you can afford.
People do crazy things.

My friend moved to Miami on a whim, signed a 1k lease for an apartment(his portion) with no job and no job prospects. It took him 2 months to find a job and paid out of pocket the entire time. He says he likes it and he's not saving a dime. He cruises a beat up 91 Jeep Wrangler but luckily he got a nice lump of cash due to stock in his step-grandparents company they just sold. People do stupid things daily.
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      11-26-2007, 09:58 AM   #15
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      11-26-2007, 09:59 AM   #16
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But hey, at least it will be a Lexus
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      11-26-2007, 11:31 AM   #17
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ugh i have had my fair share of bad roomate situations myself, but thankfully none of them involved money. it sounds like ur friend already makes bad decisions about money and changing him might be hard to do in the time that you have. if i were you and i wasnt good enough friends w/ the guy to take on a lot of his expense (there is rarely a situation where this should be done IMHO), id go to the leasor and explain the situation and review the options with him/her. Then tell your friend that if he doesnt pay on time, he will have to leave because you signed a lease and thats how it goes. Also, start looking for a new roomate to take over his part of the rent. Basically just tell him you have to play by the rules and you cant afford to pay for him (even if you can). Also, this way he will learn that there are consequences to bad money decisions.
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      11-26-2007, 12:12 PM   #18
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As an American he as a right to do stupid things.

I would guess he would continue doing them no mater what you say to him even if your heart is in the right place. If his parents keep bailing him out, they are just enabling him and he will never stop. If you not worried about getting paid then is it worth your friendship to make a big deal over it, also you have to decide whether you can afford to carry him. I have given people money in the past even if they said they would pay it back i never expect it back since I never want that to be an issue.
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      11-26-2007, 12:20 PM   #19
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Start interviewing potential candidates to take over his room so you can sublet it to them.
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      11-26-2007, 02:59 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blk636 View Post
Hey guys, I have a situation here where one of my friends is about make a really dumb decision that could affect me. He wants to buy a Lexus IS250 awd with his parents putting down 8-10k (btw, hes 26 years old). From what I've read you can get one for about $5k off msrp. Now, with his monthly payment for the car being around $500 and after rent, utils, credit cards, loans, and gas, he'll have $320 a month left for food, entertainment, and other misc expenses. He doesn't pay for his cell phone, car insurance, and doesn't have any retirement plan or health insurance. I think it will be nearly impossible to live that way without racking up credit card debt. I pay for the rent and all the utils up front and he and my other house mate pays me their portion. The problem is that he already has a hard time paying me but he thinks he can still afford the car if he changes his lifestyle a bit. He needs a car and I've tried to steer him towards different cars but with me getting a 335i coupe and another close buddy getting a used 350z he feels that he needs a nice car as well...I've tried to be up front about it asking him if he can really afford such a car. I've also tried telling him that there are a lot more things that he will need to have money for other than food and fun, such as gifts for parents, brother, weddings, new tires, brakes, girlfriend if he gets one, and etc... I've run out of ideas on what to do. He already has a little bit of trouble with credit card usage and I feel like its imminent that he'll rack up crazy cc debts with the car. I just don't want to see him make a decision like this that he will totally regret after the novelty of owning the car wears off. I also don't want to be screwed over by him not being able to pay me on time.
my parents give me cash 1 time for every six months so i just pay all my rent up front to my other roommate cause he does all these things so even if i don't have cash the rent will be taken care of. my parents are overseas thats why this happens, and i also part time so its enough to keep me alive if i finish my cash.
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      11-26-2007, 03:34 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HyperM3 View Post
Start interviewing potential candidates to take over his room so you can sublet it to them.
+1 and make it known to him that you are doing this. Stop being a girl and just strait up tell him what you think.
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      11-26-2007, 03:43 PM   #22
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kick his ass, show him whos the boss
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