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      05-22-2014, 05:44 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
If it is, you want to split the costs of a rental boat? I would gladly fly my family in for that.


You know? Braggy Brad lives where you live at. It might actually be real convenience for both of us! haha
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      05-22-2014, 06:02 PM   #68
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You know? Braggy Brad lives where you live at. It might actually be real convenience for both of us! haha
Oh the love can be seen in this conversation
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      05-22-2014, 09:08 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
Oh the love can be seen in this conversation
Yeah, topic was about wedding. So, I tried my best.

Going back to the topic of OP
I dislike most of my dad's side of my family, but I had to invite them. My mom's side was way too far away, so only few as a representative showed up.

I really didn't want my father to show up, but it would look really odd w/o father of groom. So, I did invited him.

Either I liked it or not, family and future family showed up.

Sadly, most of my seat was filled by most of church elders, deacons, reverends, and religious related people I knew from cities all over. LOL.

My in-laws wanted the religious wedding. They got one!
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      05-22-2014, 10:23 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by MrPrena View Post
Yeah, topic was about wedding. So, I tried my best.

Going back to the topic of OP
I dislike most of my dad's side of my family, but I had to invite them. My mom's side was way too far away, so only few as a representative showed up.

I really didn't want my father to show up, but it would look really odd w/o father of groom. So, I did invited him.

Either I liked it or not, family and future family showed up.

Sadly, most of my seat was filled by most of church elders, deacons, reverends, and religious related people I knew from cities all over. LOL.

My in-laws wanted the religious wedding. They got one!
The romantic in me handled this as nothing but paperwork. We showed up at the magistrate, and 15 minutes later the deed was done. My mother (fuck) didn't have the time to get out a hankie to cry, and my father was so happy about not getting a huge bill, that he almost smiled.

Now, the inlaws still pester us to have a real wedding, and I can only say, that hell will freeze over before I stat doing anything like that. If I ever have to go trough a punch of my friends, his friends, our families talking about my lack of romantism, I will murder someone. Seriously, it's a flipping piece of paper, just sign.



I have a great excuse to be poisoned against these from my younger days, and the rational me knows I don't hate weddings, but still ...
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      05-23-2014, 12:59 PM   #71
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Back to the kids as hostage - many of the Freidas tried that at first, but they still didn't get invited. We missed the kids, but sometimes you get born to a family that sucks. When Fred starts to need a babysitter, your SO will get to see her niece again.
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      05-23-2014, 03:12 PM   #72
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Back to the kids as hostage - many of the Freidas tried that at first, but they still didn't get invited. We missed the kids, but sometimes you get born to a family that sucks. When Fred starts to need a babysitter, your SO will get to see her niece again.
I'm not entirely sure that will ever happen as he has no job nor desires to have one, thus not having a reason for a babysitter.

He will hold his breath until he turns blue before he ask anyone for help, just to keep his pride.
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      05-23-2014, 03:17 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FwdFtl View Post
I'm not entirely sure that will ever happen as he has no job nor desires to have one, thus not having a reason for a babysitter.

He will hold his breath until he turns blue before he ask anyone for help, just to keep his pride.
Maybe on the surface, but bet you he moans and complains to the SO (Katie?) and it will be Katie that comes to ask for help, not him. That way he saves his pride because its not him asking and gets rid of the kid.

That type of person will use others as necessary to get his way and still retain this sense of self worth.
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      05-23-2014, 03:24 PM   #74
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Maybe on the surface, but bet you he moans and complains to the SO (Katie?) and it will be Katie that comes to ask for help, not him. That way he saves his pride because its not him asking and gets rid of the kid.

That type of person will use others as necessary to get his way and still retain this sense of self worth.
As I think about it you are spot on. I have got to shut this guy down without affecting the family dynamics. Impossible?
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      05-23-2014, 03:28 PM   #75
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Mate, which family does not have a Fred? Some families probably have more than one.
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      05-23-2014, 03:32 PM   #76
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Mate, which family does not have a Fred? Some families probably have more than one.
I agree with you. I'm asking for advice on how to deal with this neanderthal as he is only 2x removed from my SO. His actions can actually affect my life via my future sister-in-law.

It's not as easy as just ignoring him. Even that will have consequences.
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      05-23-2014, 03:54 PM   #77
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Huge +1 for doing that, and even bigger +1 for your wife and in-laws for agreeing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
The romantic in me handled this as nothing but paperwork. We showed up at the magistrate, and 15 minutes later the deed was done. My mother (fuck) didn't have the time to get out a hankie to cry, and my father was so happy about not getting a huge bill, that he almost smiled.

Now, the inlaws still pester us to have a real wedding, and I can only say, that hell will freeze over before I stat doing anything like that. If I ever have to go trough a punch of my friends, his friends, our families talking about my lack of romantism, I will murder someone. Seriously, it's a flipping piece of paper, just sign.



I have a great excuse to be poisoned against these from my younger days, and the rational me knows I don't hate weddings, but still ...
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      05-23-2014, 04:22 PM   #78
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Huge +1 for doing that, and even bigger +1 for your wife and in-laws for agreeing.
I'm the wife.
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      05-23-2014, 04:27 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I'm the wife.
Oops, sorry.
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      05-23-2014, 04:29 PM   #80
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Oops, sorry.
Yeah, it's the romantic in me which throws everyone off. and the fact that this is bimmerpost.
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      05-23-2014, 05:44 PM   #81
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Originally Posted by FwdFtl View Post
I agree with you. I'm asking for advice on how to deal with this neanderthal as he is only 2x removed from my SO. His actions can actually affect my life via my future sister-in-law.

It's not as easy as just ignoring him. Even that will have consequences.
Have you talked to Fred's parents? Or your wife + sister's parents? That could be a good start.
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      05-23-2014, 06:03 PM   #82
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Originally Posted by P1et View Post
Have you talked to Fred's parents? Or your wife + sister's parents? That could be a good start.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

As for my fiancee and her sister's parents, yes numerous times. We had an intervention without much success.

Well, I appreciate everyone's input thus far, I'll be back on Tuesday. Going to enjoy this 3 day weekend. Happy Memorial Day!
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      05-25-2014, 04:26 PM   #83
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I got a lovely email from my dear mother today. Just wanted to share, that I'll be in Canada/ great lakes/ moon area in Christmas time, since they want to visit us.

So fucking lovely of them to mention, that they can stay at a hotel, but they would like to spend time with us as much as possible. I need a good lawyer, the charges will be for murder.
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      05-25-2014, 05:01 PM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FwdFtl View Post
Question for my married peoples, specifically men...

Here is the TL;DR only:

My fiance has a sister named let's say 'Katie'. Katie has a fiance let's call him 'Fred'.

Fred's background:

Fred is an asshole. Fred got mad at me that I did not ask him to be one of my groomsmen. (Crazy, I know) Fred, yelled, cussed me out and even threatened me if he had to see his fiance walk down the aisle with another man. Fred is obviously very insecure.

When I marry my fiance, I marry into her whole family. Fred will more than likely be at family events.

Fred and I have resolved our issues, but I no longer consider Fred a friend nor do I want to build a relationship with him, HOWEVER, I still have to be cordial and see him at family events.

Do any of you have a Fred in your family? How do you deal with him?

Disclaimer: Fred is a 38 year old deadbeat with no job, car, education and has a belief that he's gonna make it big in the music business.
I didn't read the thread yet, but maybe I can provide some insightful advice.
Sleep with his wife. That'll teach him.
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      05-25-2014, 05:04 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Litos View Post
I have a Fred in my family - I just avoid him...

simple as that....

he doesn't sign my paychecks, he doesn't take care of my kids, he doesn't pay my bills and he certainly doesn't control the way I live my life...

fuck him, fuck Fred and fuck Fred's life...

he ain't shit and won't ever be shit....
I lol'd too hard at this - your responses make me want to convert to being Mexican.
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      05-25-2014, 05:50 PM   #86
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IMHO life is too short, why let in laws bother you too much? You can't choose them, as you cannot choose neighbors.

We went to a wedding in SF last July. I personally handed the $500 gift card to my cousin, because I knew there would be no Ty card, acknowledgement, etc. my mom asked me if we got a Ty card, I said no, but did not expect one (haha he gave no gift when he attended my wedding). My mom said that's not right and mentioned it to her sister, my aunt.

My feeling is life is imperfect, enjoy the $500 gift. Just because he doesn't know how to say thank you isn't going to bother me, I'll still do the right thing.
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      05-31-2014, 01:41 AM   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FwdFtl View Post
HAHA... I stand down to no man no matter who they are, however I'm not gonna resort to violence. Sure, I could whoop his arse, but what does that prove?
Nobody's talking about violence. If the in-laws invite you over for thanksgiving, just place your Glock 17 on the table, hold hands and say prayers before you dig in.

Maybe its loaded maybe its not. Maybe the firearm accidentally discharge 1 round into Fred's groin.

All I'm saying is, I'm sure things will work out buddy.
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      05-31-2014, 04:35 AM   #88
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uh oh..... you mentioned Austrian last name of Mr Geston G. on the table.

It isn't a good idea to bring Mr.Geston G into it, but it might be a good idea to bring Mr. Kalashnikov's to talk it out with Fred.



Russian "kalashnikov" Vodka



Quote:
Originally Posted by M3 Pilot View Post
Nobody's talking about violence. If the in-laws invite you over for thanksgiving, just place your Glock 17 on the table, hold hands and say prayers before you dig in.

Maybe its loaded maybe its not. Maybe the firearm accidentally discharge 1 round into Fred's groin.

All I'm saying is, I'm sure things will work out buddy.
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