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      09-09-2008, 02:11 PM   #1
UltimateBMW
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Unspoken Rules

Ok, I did a quick and didn't see anything like this before.

It might flop, but I figured it was worth a shot. Lets hear some unspoken rules, tacit assumptions, or things considered taboo that you or poeple you know of live by. I'll start...


In the men's room you never, EVER, use the urinal directly adjacent an already occupied urinal.

Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry.
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      09-09-2008, 02:17 PM   #2
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don't post to the forum when you're drunk...even though i've been guilty of it more than once
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      09-09-2008, 02:18 PM   #3
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      09-09-2008, 02:18 PM   #4
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No matter how much and how long you shake it after you are done, there will be a few drops traveling down your pants when you zip up
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      09-09-2008, 02:19 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tondtar View Post
No matter how much and how long you shake it after you are done, there will be a few drops traveling down your pants when you zip up
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      09-09-2008, 02:23 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tondtar View Post
No matter how much and how long you shake it after you are done, there will be a few drops traveling down your pants when you zip up
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      09-09-2008, 02:28 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimateBMW View Post
In the men's room you never, EVER, use the urinal directly adjacent an already occupied urinal.
That's a good one.

To expand upon that topic, always look straight ahead. No looking around, and no conversation unless it is someone you know.

A little side story, at Notre Dame Stadium (football), the urinals there are actually gigantic troughs that wrap around the entire room. Sometimes you are forced to wedge yourself in, no barriers between you and the other patrons...
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      09-09-2008, 02:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ybbiz34 View Post
That's a good one.

To expand upon that topic, always look straight ahead. No looking around, and no conversation unless it is someone you know.

A little side story, at Notre Dame Stadium (football), the urinals there are actually gigantic troughs that wrap around the entire room. Sometimes you are forced to wedge yourself in, no barriers between you and the other patrons...
+1

There are some good rules posted in this thread so far!
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      09-09-2008, 02:46 PM   #9
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I get a feeling that this will quickly turn into a list of man laws...

OK I will help get the ball rolling:

1. Sitting down to pee is unacceptable and will result in immediate loss of manhood.

2. "Shotgun" can ONLY be called by an individual who is outside of any physical structure and in full, unblocked view of the vehicle in question.

Last edited by aut0sh0cker; 10-15-2008 at 05:05 PM..
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      09-09-2008, 03:07 PM   #10
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      09-09-2008, 03:15 PM   #11
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I wouldn't mind if this turned into a Man-Law thread. All pretty much the same thing, only difference is the context in which it is applied.

Would be cool to have a running tally of Bimmerpost created man-laws.
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      09-09-2008, 03:53 PM   #12
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the guy that cut his own arm off is epic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston in case you haven't read his story.
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      09-09-2008, 04:22 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tondtar View Post
No matter how much and how long you shake it after you are done, there will be a few drops traveling down your pants when you zip up
That's a good one, but that's not how you're supposed to say it. It's...

No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last few drops always fall in your pants.
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      09-09-2008, 04:28 PM   #14
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Here's one I got from a different forum: Oldsmoboat's First Law

"This law states that when a thread title says "Funny" or implies that it will be, it won't be."
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      09-09-2008, 04:44 PM   #15
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Never fuck with another man's car.

Don't you dare "grunt" in the gym if you aren't lifting at least your body weight.
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      09-09-2008, 06:00 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by san~man View Post
Never fuck with another man's car.

Don't you dare "grunt" in the gym if you aren't lifting at least your body weight.
+1 The grunting in the gym needs to stop. Hear guys doing it all the time, whether your lifting a lot or a little grunting isn't even necessary. You can exhale without using your vocal cords.
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      09-09-2008, 06:02 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blakepilot View Post


the guy that cut his own arm off is epic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aron_Ralston in case you haven't read his story.
I love those Man Law commercials. That is missing at least one though. The one about the clink toasting. I think they decided to do necks instead of tops.
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      09-09-2008, 06:24 PM   #18
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Haha...this thread is so male chauvinist and I love it.
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      09-09-2008, 06:44 PM   #19
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Yeah, I think man laws is the way to go here...

-Never cock block a friend
-Under no circumstances shall another man sit on your lap
-Never hit a girl.. unless she's got a weapon, or kicked you in the balls.
-Never sit two men on a motorcycle... and especially not a Moped.
-When going after groups of girls, he who makes the first move has the first choice.
-It's OK for you to drive a girl's car, but it's unacceptable for her to drive yours. (Unless you're drunk, absent, or just giving her a test drive.)

-DO NOT be anything like these type of people...
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      09-09-2008, 06:57 PM   #20
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      09-09-2008, 07:00 PM   #21
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i'm glad guidos aren't a problem in texas. unfortunately, guido's first cousin 'the douchebag' is.
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      09-09-2008, 07:05 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blakepilot View Post
i'm glad guidos aren't a problem in texas. unfortunately, guido's first cousin 'the douchebag' is.
Yeah, NY is like the epicenter of this guido faggotry. I always love how people outside the Tri-State area barley have any.

I would imagine the douchebag problem would be something like this:
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