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      09-12-2014, 04:04 PM   #903
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Sorry, not finding many funny pics but here's a joke and among my favorite to tell:

A farmer has 200 hens and a rooster that is getting ready to retire, so he goes down the street to his neighbor's farm for a younger rooster to service them. He says "I got this lot of roosters that are $50 each, but Randy, that strapping young lad over there is $500, but worth every penny and since his dad and grandpa had the same enthusiasm when they were in their prime, I'm sure his offspring will be the same!" After much discussion, the farmer reluctantly decides to buy him.

The next morning, the farmer pep talks him "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the coop and the rooster takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times each. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's been on every animal on the farm. Then, not knowing when to stop, he goes after the farmer's daughter and wife. By sunset, nothing female within a 1 mile radius has not been spared, and all the male animals are even starting to worry whether or not he's bi so that they're not "next".

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laid out flat in the middle of the field, buzzards circling overhead. The sad farmer kneels down, shook his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. *sigh* I didn't want you to meet your maker this quick." Before he can get back up, Randy slowly opens one eye, winks, and looks towards the sky and says...

"Shhh, they're getting closer."
That is hilarious
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      09-12-2014, 06:57 PM   #904
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Quote:
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So you say he has 200 hens and one rooster, but when he goes to the neighbor the lot of roosters are $50 each but Randy is $500? So how did we go from one rooster to a lot of rooster for $50 each?
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      09-12-2014, 07:38 PM   #905
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Never found out who it was, but after I sent that email, whoever was taking bites did stop!
Lol I had an army buddy, who was annoying about cleanliness. He was a great dude, still one of my best friends, but for six months, I spent every morning stealing his deodorant. He was in pieces, we had a week in the forest, and he packed 14 of those to go with. Unfortunately he trusted me to look after his backpack, and of course I stole those.

I got caught in a wedding a few years later, when we two shared a room (no, just a room mate, I didn't do smelly dudes), and the revenge has been his ever since. He got engaged, made the idiot hen he actually didnt ever even like invite me to the hen night. Same happened with the second time around too. Now he actually found a chick he loves enough to maybe go through it all again and the wedding invitation I got had a nice deodorant bottle picture in it. This time around I presume I'll be invited to the real party, since he might have learned his lesson in introducing the gf's to me.

I can't even remember why deodorant was the object of robbery every time, but I know what will be their wedding gift.
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      09-13-2014, 09:22 PM   #906
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Bro do you even nut sack!
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      09-13-2014, 09:27 PM   #907
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Lol I had an army buddy, who was annoying about cleanliness. He was a great dude, still one of my best friends, but for six months, I spent every morning stealing his deodorant. He was in pieces, we had a week in the forest, and he packed 14 of those to go with. Unfortunately he trusted me to look after his backpack, and of course I stole those.

I got caught in a wedding a few years later, when we two shared a room (no, just a room mate, I didn't do smelly dudes), and the revenge has been his ever since. He got engaged, made the idiot hen he actually didnt ever even like invite me to the hen night. Same happened with the second time around too. Now he actually found a chick he loves enough to maybe go through it all again and the wedding invitation I got had a nice deodorant bottle picture in it. This time around I presume I'll be invited to the real party, since he might have learned his lesson in introducing the gf's to me.

I can't even remember why deodorant was the object of robbery every time, but I know what will be their wedding gift.
Don't let this be you, Lups:
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer...prison_fo.html
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      09-13-2014, 10:28 PM   #908
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Buahaaha
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      09-15-2014, 10:36 AM   #909
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Sometimes really immature things make me laugh



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      09-15-2014, 10:47 AM   #910
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Sometimes really immature things make me laugh
I have the same fault in the build.
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      09-15-2014, 05:33 PM   #911
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!
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      09-15-2014, 05:36 PM   #912
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!
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      09-15-2014, 07:12 PM   #913
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      09-15-2014, 08:11 PM   #914
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Not LOL but this is what happens when you get struck by lightening!
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      09-15-2014, 08:22 PM   #915
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Oh hey Bimmerpost!!

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      09-15-2014, 10:10 PM   #916
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      09-15-2014, 11:06 PM   #917
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      09-15-2014, 11:54 PM   #918
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Dude tries to play dead on a fake punt attempt HAHAHAH!!!

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      Today, 01:37 PM   #919
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this is a repost but goddamn it makes me laugh lol. i'm prob going to hell for laughing at this

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      Today, 03:02 PM   #920
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this is a repost but goddamn it makes me laugh lol. i'm prob going to hell for laughing at this

I'm a horrible person but this almost killed me with laughter lol
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      Today, 04:25 PM   #921
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Not LOL but this is what happens when you get struck by lightening!
Looks like Henna
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      Today, 05:24 PM   #922
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Looks like Henna
It makes cool fractal shapes
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      Today, 06:03 PM   #923
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Funny
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      Today, 06:36 PM   #924
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^ cant read too small
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