[rjpeaks]

Davis just needs to find the right Mrs Davis.

[John 070]

Originally Posted by davis449

Ok, you want insight? Here is just SOME. Take a marriage contract and everything it includes, the bonds it creates financially as well as the effects it has on assets. Get it all written up. Now remove the word "marriage" from it. Now you have a business contract...a Partnership. Take that to a lawyer, ANY lawyer and ask him/her if you should enter into such an arrangement. There isn't one on this planet that wouldn't straight up laugh at your stupidity or tell you to RUN, not walk, away.

Don't even start on pre-nups, they can be fought...

Nah this view doesn't make any sense. Have you been married before?

When you're 24, play for the Chicago Blackhawks, and are dating a supermodel, sure, life is good, why get married? One day, you turn 30, and suddenly, that 22 y.o. model thinks you're old. So if you want to keep her, you have to marry her.

[Maestro]

You all are nuts spending that much on a wedding. I have heard people taking out a small mortgage to pay for a wedding which makes no sense, I love hearing about people who get divorce and they have not paid off the wedding yet.

Yeah every women wants fair tale wedding, so they all get sucked in with you must have this and that and can not give it up even after finding how much it cost. The people peddling these things know they need to get the bride emotionally committed so they agree to spend the money. Honest if the brides family wants to flip the bill fine with that, but two people using saving or taking loans out to pay for the wedding is just crazy.

I know as time goes forward prices go up, but not to the level which a wedding should cost $25K, $35K or $55K. Grant it, I am older than most of you, but we did not cheap out but we spent our money wisely an on things that counted, food, drink, entertainment. and venue. Beyond this most people could care less if you spent $100 on each table center piece of flowers and such.

With that said, we had 225 guest, and paid a fraction of what you all are quoting.

[2011CrazE89]

It’s all relative. If you make $100k and spent $50k for a wedding your marriage is already off to a bad start. On the other hand Kanye and Kim spent 2 million and married in Italy. Chump change for them.

[TXSTYLE]

Originally Posted by Ehwnnc

Well im in the process of planning a wedding. Thank god i am not paying. For a basic wedding at a nice place with nice food the cost we have right now is right at 35k. To me that is insane. I would rather put the money towards a house but whatever i get it, its the one day a girl always dreams about blah blah.

For the married people here, how much were your weddings?

I had to foot the bill because, it is what it is. Her parents weren't able to do it.
@ $18k for a Hotel Reception with over 150 guests and great food, DJ, videographer 2 photographers, and other stuff I don't remember.
In hindsight, I would NEVER spend that much or suggest you do either. It is YOU AND YOUR BRIDES DAY! No one else! Putting on a "show" for people that will go about their own lives the very next day is simply not wise spending. Sure... It's special, amazing, love, etc. But your life partner will (should) probably agree that the $$$ can be better spent/used. If money is no object and or you happen to have $15-$25k laying around, then by all means. Otherwise, I'd try to limit it to $10k MAX

[JasonCSU]

It absolutely boggles my mind how much money people are willing to spend on throwing a party. And people wonder why the average debt is so high in the US.

[Boben5]

What a waste of money, just like someone said, it's all a two day show then everyone goes home forgets about the whole thing and all that money gone. For What? To impress some folks and say look at me " its my day", blah blah blah. Stupid

[Uber V8]

I have a friend who he and his wife are still paying off their $40k wedding bill 2 years later. It has also postponed any other investments (i.e. property) for him.

He says they enjoyed the day, but they both wished they had spent a fraction of what they actually spent.

Destination weddings FTW.

[Templar]

I was cool with spending what I did. It included everything, and it's what the wife wanted. I can't tell you how many times she has looked at the pics and said, "perfect."

To me, that was worth it, but then again it wasn't that expensive though. I wouldn't have justified spending that much more. And I was lucky that the venue hooked us up on booze.

[davis449]

Originally Posted by rjpeaks

Davis just needs to find the right Mrs Davis.

Pretty sure I am living with her now. She just doesn't have my last name. If she ever does, it will be from a JP. We're agreeable on that one.

Nah this view doesn't make any sense. Have you been married before?

When you're 24, play for the Chicago Blackhawks, and are dating a supermodel, sure, life is good, why get married? One day, you turn 30, and suddenly, that 22 y.o. model thinks you're old. So if you want to keep her, you have to marry her.

Where did I even imply the "Single till I die" mentality? Guess what? Play for the Chicago Blackhawks, marry that (oh let's just say you dated her a while) 26 yr. supermodel, you inevitably divorce, you lost half (or more) of your money, your property, and your kids (if you had any). You thought you were on lock when that lawyer drew up that pre-nup, too. However, she put on one hell of act in court and the judge nullified that document so fast you couldn't blink.

Seriously, though, my beef is with the stupidity that is marriage. Don't have to be or have been married to learn the lessons from it. It's call observing. I have seen good, great, and terrible. I made my personal evaluation of that institution. Not for me now or ANY time soon. I am over 30...still don't want to ever be "married".

[Ehwnnc]

I agree with everyone. If we had to pay for it no way no how. We both agreed we will go to the courthouse if need be. Her parents are very well off so the money is not an issue.

[Boben5]

Originally Posted by Ehwnnc

I agree with everyone. If we had to pay for it no way no how. We both agreed we will go to the courthouse if need be. Her parents are very well off so the money is not an issue.

Your a lucky man if she also agrees with the courthouse! It makes me nauseous thinking about bridesmaids and groomsmen.

[rjpeaks]

Originally Posted by davis449

Pretty sure I am living with her now. She just doesn't have my last name. If she ever does, it will be from a JP. We're agreeable on that one.

take her name..
big game tonight man.

[davis449]

Originally Posted by rjpeaks

take her name..
big game tonight man.

Stop trolling me! LOL!

Yeah, I know, big game.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by benbo5

Your a lucky man if she also agrees with the courthouse! It makes me nauseous thinking about bridesmaids and groomsmen.

I still can't believe all the friends of mine, who have gone all out with one day of their lives. I know I'm not the most romantic appearing female in the world, but I just don't get the whole thing of weddings. If the relationship is real, it's something you have every day. All else is just preparation for death, marriage makes so easy to handle the inheritance stuff.

[persian54]

Originally Posted by Nkc

I profited from my wedding. I paid for everything and in return, I got back a lot more in cash at the reception. I guess its a Chinese thing.

Similar for Persian weddings. I haven't had my wedding, but I have attended a fair share.

My cousin got married last year and I heard she spent ~$250/pp, invited about 350 people of which ~250 showed up. I'm not sure on the rest of the specifics, but I heard from my other cousin (who helped with a bit of the planning) that it was over $100k.

Which is a lot…. but they recently got a large (1 mil) inheritance from their late grandma. In her will, she specified that she wanted her granddaughter (my cousin) to have the most extravagant wedding imaginable. So I guess that's one reason why they went "all out"
It really was one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to.


The best part (for the couple) is that they received well over $100k in gifts. Heck, my immediate family and I (4 people) gave them close to $5k in gifts (gold). I know my living grandparents gave them more, as did our other aunts and uncles (we have 10 aunts/uncles, each with 2-3 kids, and a couple of those kids even have kids of their own now).
And this is just my side… the groom's side was also huge and gave some great gifts

I don't know how much I'll spend on wedding… but I'm confident that the guests will give gifts that will more than cover the cost of the wedding. It's just how it is in my family (and other Persian weddings I've attended).

Originally Posted by Lups

I still can't believe all the friends of mine, who have gone all out with one day of their lives. I know I'm not the most romantic appearing female in the world, but I just don't get the whole thing of weddings. If the relationship is real, it's something you have every day. All else is just preparation for death, marriage makes so easy to handle the inheritance stuff.

All out is relative though.
For some, spending $10k is all out, for some 100k, for some 500k.
From what I've seen growing up, especially from the weddings I've attended, the wedding is NOT about the couple but for their families (and maybe a few friends). It's so the two families can mingle, get to know each other, and become friendly (immediate family aside, as they tend to already know each other).

My other cousin's wedding in Dubai was north of $250k. But her husband is a (what we Persians call, and please do correct my spelling) Vatani, so that's chump change to them.


My wedding, as I'll be responsible for paying for it, will be determined by how many people my future wife invites. We have ~100pp minimum on my side that I am required to invite, and another ~50 if my family says I should invite.
If my future wife has a small family of say ~50, or a large one of 100+… it will effect the pricing quite a bit. If I can keep it under $80k, I'll be happy, with a goal of $50k.

[Uber V8]

^^Haven't heard from you in a while...you got rid of the M3?!

[will.c]

Wedding's important. It's not just a 'party.' It's a celebration of two families officially becoming one, with the blessings of families and friends. It IS an overvalued commodity, but it still is a valuable concept.

I'm mindful of potentially derailing a bit, but I do want to ask if getting married has financial benefits throughout the marriage that will make up for the initial wedding investment, such as tax benefits & whatever else. If I were to just live with my girl as if we're married, but without actually getting married, have kids and all that, how will this negatively (or positively) impact the long term finances?

[hd2000fxdl]

Originally Posted by BayMoWe335

Just budget $100k or so and if it comes in under, you'll be happy.

This....

I have my daughter's Quinceañera in July(sweet 15), only about 125 people and it will be between 25K-28K, I can just imagine what the wedding will cost me so I like your rule of thumb.

Harry

[hd2000fxdl]

Originally Posted by leJUNd

Sorry to steer the thread off topic but I am struggling with this.
I personally don't want to do a wedding. I hate going to weddings and don't want to have one. GF shares the same view but our parents thinks its blasphemous to get married and not have a wedding. Is wedding an event that is as much about the parents as actual people getting married? My parents thinks so. What do you think?

No to follow up my last post above, that's what my wife and I thought as well, we just did Vegas, had some family and friends there. We both didn't want to big wedding thing heck, we have ony been married for 11 years but started dating 23-24 years ago, I can't remmerber (and I can say that infront of her, actually I just say it's been a Long F'n time) but hey if she's not used to me by now and I'm stilla round we should be good.

It was cheap, less than 25K and that with 20K on her finger so I am happy. What we do do to make it all worth it is we are on a constant honneymoon. We always get what we want when we want, do 10-15 vacations a year so even B-Days and Holidays are cheap, we gift ourselves all year, and just do cards and a guft card for resturants (an excuse to have to go out a few noghts a week) and we are very happy.

Harry

[hd2000fxdl]

One last thing, to the OP, just do what you can and what will make both of you happy in the longrun. I have seen many people over extend themselves and regret it. Remember it's a special day, but it's every day after that counts and one of the biggest things that break people up is money, no need to start out behind the 8-ball so to speak.

Harry

[hd2000fxdl]

Originally Posted by davis449

Ok, you want insight? Here is just SOME. Take a marriage contract and everything it includes, the bonds it creates financially as well as the effects it has on assets. Get it all written up. Now remove the word "marriage" from it. Now you have a business contract...a Partnership. Take that to a lawyer, ANY lawyer and ask him/her if you should enter into such an arrangement. There isn't one on this planet that wouldn't straight up laugh at your stupidity or tell you to RUN, not walk, away.

Don't even start on pre-nups, they can be fought...

Yup, one of the oldes in the jokes about marrage, but if you really look at it in how it reads, it's very true, but hey, if you have the right one, it doesn't really matter.

Harry