E90Post
 


 
BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > How to Tick People Off



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      04-11-2008, 10:28 AM   #1
schneid4323
Banned
United_States
325
Rep
1,134
Posts

Drives: 335i, M6
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas TX

iTrader: (0)

How to Tick People Off

http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_t...ople_off.shtml

I may have to do all of these in one day...

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 10:54 AM   #2
Couch
Colonel
Couch's Avatar
141
Rep
2,900
Posts

Drives: E92 335i
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Houston

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2007 E92 335i  [0.00]
33. Make up "What if..." stories.

A few of my co-workers and I always make up different "What if..." stories on all sorts of things. It annoys the piss out of one our other co-workers. It's hilarious.
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 12:03 PM   #3
Kiemyster
Bimmerpost Resident Marijuana Consultant
Kiemyster's Avatar
Trinidad_and_tobago
448
Rep
3,195
Posts

Drives: 320i, 325xi, 335Xi, 335i, M3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Queens/NYC

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
i think i saw this somewhere before.... great shit though ahaha
__________________
"AMG What! S-Line Who? If you ain't got that M I got no respect for you!"
'06 Alpine Weiss E90 320i | '06 The Green Machine E90 325xi | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 M3 ZCP | '10 Silverstone X5M | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 335xi
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 12:09 PM   #4
Hawkeye
Brigadier General
Hawkeye's Avatar
No_Country
2070
Rep
4,365
Posts

Drives: '07 Z4 Coupe, '21 X3, '16 GMC
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Iowa

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
34. Drive slow in the left lane.
__________________
2007 Z4 3.0si Coupe • 6 MT • Black Saphire Metallic • PP • SP
2016 GMC Sierra SLT Z71 Premium Plus 4x4
2017 Harley StreetGlide • Denim Black • V&H Tune
2021 BMW x30i • Phytonic Blue Metallic • Fully loaded
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 12:12 PM   #5
Kiemyster
Bimmerpost Resident Marijuana Consultant
Kiemyster's Avatar
Trinidad_and_tobago
448
Rep
3,195
Posts

Drives: 320i, 325xi, 335Xi, 335i, M3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Queens/NYC

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
35. when you get a fountain soda, take the top off, turn it upside down, and insert your straw so its slanted upwards in the opposite direction. when people ask, just say: it just feels right.
__________________
"AMG What! S-Line Who? If you ain't got that M I got no respect for you!"
'06 Alpine Weiss E90 320i | '06 The Green Machine E90 325xi | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 M3 ZCP | '10 Silverstone X5M | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 335xi
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 12:55 PM   #6
gadget
Major
gadget's Avatar
United_States
108
Rep
1,161
Posts

Drives: 09 e92///M SSII DCT
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: US

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiemyster View Post
35. when you get a fountain soda, take the top off, turn it upside down, and insert your straw so its slanted upwards in the opposite direction. when people ask, just say: it just feels right.
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 12:58 PM   #7
Josh49
Major General
252
Rep
6,664
Posts

Drives: E90 325xi
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Boston, MA

iTrader: (33)

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

That's hilarious!!!
__________________

E90 325XI, MYSTIC BLUE ON BLACK/ALUM, STEP, NAV, PDC, CWP, XENON, SIRIUS, ALARM, MUD GUARDS, CLEARBRA, CHROME GRILLS AND TIPS, VALENTINE 1 (HARDWIRED), HO CERAMIC 40%, 161'S, REAR FOG MOD, LUX 4.0, BLACKLINES, OEM PEDALS, MTEC FOGS, GRUPPE-M REP INTAKE. 156'S AND RUBBER MATS FOR THE WINTER.
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 01:32 PM   #8
bartman32
Colonel
bartman32's Avatar
United_States
101
Rep
2,317
Posts

Drives: F87 M2
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The OC

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2017 M2  [0.00]
old but good!
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 01:38 PM   #9
TheLegacy
Gangsta status
TheLegacy's Avatar
United_States
74
Rep
973
Posts

Drives: 2002 E39 M5, heavily modded
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Shibuya Tokyo, Rockland NY, Killeen TX

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh49 View Post
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

That's hilarious!!!
yeah i LOLed on that one.
__________________
-TheLegacy
JDM-EDM-TT-V8-GANGSTA ALL THE WAY
*Modded*
"Ready for the Apocalypse"
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 02:00 PM   #10
OC Guy
General
OC Guy's Avatar
United_States
530
Rep
18,123
Posts

Drives: AW 335D E90
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Irvine/Aliso Viejo, CA

iTrader: (9)

Garage List
2007 335i  [0.00]
Yeah good list.

36. PM Mantis to see if his car has arrived yet.
__________________

Current: 2010 Alpine White 335D LCI l 19" BBS LMs l KW V2 Coilovers l BMW Performance Grilles l MSport Front/Rear l Karbonwerke Trunk l F1 Pinnacle Tint 35% Former: E92 Space Grey 335i Latest pics
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 02:29 PM   #11
Year's_End
Lieutenant General
Year's_End's Avatar
United_States
1112
Rep
12,442
Posts

Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by schneid4323 View Post
http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_t...ople_off.shtml

I may have to do all of these in one day...

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
favs
__________________
Past: '08 E92 335i|ZPP|ZSP|6AT
Past: '15 Mustang GT|401A|PP|6MT
Current: '20 Shelby GT350|6MT
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 02:30 PM   #12
Year's_End
Lieutenant General
Year's_End's Avatar
United_States
1112
Rep
12,442
Posts

Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

19 is hilarious
__________________
Past: '08 E92 335i|ZPP|ZSP|6AT
Past: '15 Mustang GT|401A|PP|6MT
Current: '20 Shelby GT350|6MT
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 02:35 PM   #13
AJerman
Major
AJerman's Avatar
United_States
29
Rep
1,381
Posts

Drives: '08 335i
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wake Forest, NC

iTrader: (0)

Haha... I might have to take note of a few of those.
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 03:48 PM   #14
asdflkijd
Aberry is a scammer
asdflkijd's Avatar
United_States
552
Rep
5,507
Posts

Drives: SGM E92 335i, AM E90 335i
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Seattle, WA

iTrader: (14)

Garage List
LOl, hahaha
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 04:18 PM   #15
gadget
Major
gadget's Avatar
United_States
108
Rep
1,161
Posts

Drives: 09 e92///M SSII DCT
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: US

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by OC 335i View Post
Yeah good list.

36. PM Mantis to see if his car has arrived yet.

I just did this one, please join me
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 04:32 PM   #16
Kiemyster
Bimmerpost Resident Marijuana Consultant
Kiemyster's Avatar
Trinidad_and_tobago
448
Rep
3,195
Posts

Drives: 320i, 325xi, 335Xi, 335i, M3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Queens/NYC

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by gadget View Post
how do u not get it? do i have to draw it out for u?
__________________
"AMG What! S-Line Who? If you ain't got that M I got no respect for you!"
'06 Alpine Weiss E90 320i | '06 The Green Machine E90 325xi | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 M3 ZCP | '10 Silverstone X5M | '11 Alpine Weiss E90 335xi
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 11:43 PM   #17
gadget
Major
gadget's Avatar
United_States
108
Rep
1,161
Posts

Drives: 09 e92///M SSII DCT
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: US

iTrader: (0)

I got it, just didn't think it was fuuny.... sorry.
Appreciate 0
      04-11-2008, 11:54 PM   #18
Year's_End
Lieutenant General
Year's_End's Avatar
United_States
1112
Rep
12,442
Posts

Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

vag reference lol
__________________
Past: '08 E92 335i|ZPP|ZSP|6AT
Past: '15 Mustang GT|401A|PP|6MT
Current: '20 Shelby GT350|6MT
Appreciate 0
      04-14-2008, 01:52 AM   #19
karliejai
Da Kid
karliejai's Avatar
United_States
121
Rep
4,576
Posts

Drives: JetBlack e90 335i
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA

iTrader: (4)

nice lol
__________________


MODS: OEM Front Splitter | ACS Roof Spoiler | OEM Trunk Spoiler | Matt Black Front Grill | Black Shadowline Window Trim | Painted Front Lower Rod | Blacklines | JDM Yellow Fogs | Custom Silver CF Headlights with LUX 4.0 | Eisenhaus Sports Exhaust
Appreciate 0
      04-14-2008, 10:02 AM   #20
ZJP
Lieutenant Colonel
United_States
125
Rep
1,759
Posts

Drives: F10 535xi / B6 S4
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: LI, NY

iTrader: (7)

wtf...
Appreciate 0
      04-14-2008, 12:57 PM   #21
MadDog
Careful, I Bite.....
MadDog's Avatar
United_States
153
Rep
504
Posts

Drives: 2006 325i
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: S.F. Bay Area

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2006 325i  [7.50]
This thread just went to hell......
Appreciate 0
      04-14-2008, 04:37 PM   #22
Autobot
Brigadier General
Autobot's Avatar
United_States
83
Rep
3,106
Posts

Drives: 15 F22 M235 6MT
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Charleston, SC

iTrader: (8)

Way to curb the front right rim
__________________
Delivered 28 May
Appreciate 0
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:38 PM.




e90post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST