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BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum
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Divorce Letter
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| 08-26-2009, 05:52 PM | #1 |
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Divorce Letter
I read this some where thought it was kinda funny.
Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Her letter BACK.... Dear Ex-Husband: Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 18 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem....... |
| 08-26-2009, 05:56 PM | #2 |
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OMG!!
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| 08-26-2009, 06:12 PM | #5 |
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that was good shit
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| 08-26-2009, 06:52 PM | #8 |
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repost. but the other version was flipped...it was the ex-husband who won...and i actually liked that one better
 so FAKE
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| 08-26-2009, 08:16 PM | #10 | |
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Just another jerk in a hat...
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Quote:
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He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth. |
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