Irrelevant of just how bad of parking jobs I have seen in my life, theres no way a sober person would park this poorly. Typically sober parkers either don't back out far enough and take 10 minutes to exit a spot, occupy 2 spots, park diagonally, scrape the curb (guilt of this myself), or just do it slowly. This is an "alcoholic with too much to drink and downers on a friday night" type of parking.
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