So, im sitting down on my toilet right now, trying to take a nice shit. but no, for the last few months, my body and I have been fighting a war. I find myself shitting 3+ times a day, and not to much comes out. I am wasting far to much time in the toilet when i could be productive. Its not coming out easily, either.
Now, i dont mind spending hours on the toilet. Personally, i enjoy taking a shit because i feel like a million bucks afterwards. these days however, its a different story.
but enough talking about me and my shitting problems. The real point to this thread is for me to share a website with all of you that still has me laughing. The OP has the same problem as me, and if you read the responses you WILL die laughing. this is a nice way to pass the time if your bored, to read through this thread.
This is my favorite quote that made me laugh so hard that it allowed me to let loose a nugget of shit (the first and only one at this point).
Quote:
Pat "Fart Rocket" T. (not verified) -- 01.04.2005
I think that the answer lies in between the turds. Depending on the Velocity, shape, apex, and tenderness of the poop, pushing has to be gauge almost like adjusting Turbos on a car for output. In my experience, i usually take one solid dump a day that can knock out anyone within a 100 ft radius. My anal glands provide my bum with "Shit lubricatus" Latin translation: Excess ass cream. This allows for immediate ejaculation of any and all turds, no matter what shape or size. The sheath that is created by my butt juices allows for a standard 15 psi of outward pressure. In conclusion, soft, hard, big, small, push hard and stain the bowl.
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and yes. I am on the toilet taking a shit right now. This just proves that my shits are so long, i actually bring my laptop with me cause i know its gonna be a long haul.
Link to the thread:
http://www.poopreport.com/Debate/Content/push.html