1. if you think you're fat you probaly are. don't ask us
2.learn to work the toilet seat. if its up put it down
3. dont cut your hair.....EVER
4. sometimes we're not thinking abou you. live with it
5. get rid of your cat
6. sunday=sports
7. anything you wear is fine. really
8. women wearing wonder bras and low cut blouses lose thier right to complain about having their boobs stared at
9. you have to many shoes.
10. crying is blackmail
11. ask for what you want. subtle hints dont work.
12. mark anniversaries on the calendar
13. yes pissing standing up is more diffucult than peeing from point blank range. we're bound to miss sometimes.
14. yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. a headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. see a doctor
16. dont fake it. we'd rather be ineffective than decieved
17. anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissable in an argument.
18. if you dont dress like the victoria's secret girls, dont expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
19.if something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one
20. let us ogle. if we dont look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
21. don't rub the lamp if you dont want the genie to come out
22. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. not both.
23. christopher coloumbus didnt need directions and neither do we
24. you have enough clothes
25. nothing says I love you like sex.
