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Thought of another one...
Let the creep key your car, then follow him to his car. Follow him home and mark the location with your trusty GPS device. Come back in two days when you've had time to go buy a 12lb sledgehammer, 1 gallon of DOT3 brake fluid, a long stemmed funnel , one pair of latex gloves, one set of clear goggles, one kodak insta camera - with film (or a polaroid, whatever your fancy is) and some run of the mill sandbox sand.
Here are the steps. You must perform them in this order to maximize damage to the target and minimize your getting caught.
1st - Put on gloves and goggles and open the creep's gas cap and place your long stemmed funnel in it. Pour sand in until all gone. Remove funnel, repeat if desired.
2nd - take brake fluid and pour generously about the painted areas of the car. Repeat if desired. Let sit for approximately 1/2 hour before proceeding to step 3
3rd - Take 12LB sledge and begin with the front-end of the vehicle (note: this step *may* make a teency weency bit of audible hullabaloo so take note of any approaching sirens, flashing lights or angry car owners) and working your way to the back of the vehichle; making sure to pay special attention to the fenders, quarter panels, hood and trunk areas.
4th - if you have completed all of the above steps (and have not gotten arrested yet) it is time to sit back and capture your kodak moment. Pick a spot out of the way and stakeout the car until the perp returns. Capture his essence on your instamatic camera and then leave the scene.
Watch your local news rag's police blotter section and revel in you secretly knowing who demolished some poor dude's car.
disclaimer: i in no way endorse any of the above actions and have never taken part of such a well planned assault on some asshole who really deserved it.
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