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I'm probably way too late to this party, but I saw OP post this thread in another thread today.
OP: I'm not divorced (was never married) but I do pay CS, so I have some idea of what you are going through, I went through a similarly shitty breakup with my ex. I'm not sure if your case is already settled (even if so, they can be amended) -- but a couple of things to consider:
1. Imputation of Income -- If your wife has any kind of degree, or professional certification, even if you can prove she had X job before -- your lawyer should be able to argue that the judge 'impute' the higher income on her as if she currently makes it, even if she doesn't -- which would re-balance the CS/AL numbers.
2. Get full custody of your daughter -- She's 14, which means she decides which parent she wants to live with. Sounds like you have a financial advantage, and this might sound cold: but you should lie, cheat, bribe and steal to convince her to choose to live with you full time. If that happens, not only does the CS go away -- it goes against your EX, which should reduce the ALM payment by cancelling some of it out (I don't care if its $300 a month, you want it).
3. Once you've done #2 -- You and your daughter can take the advice of the above posters, my personal choice would be Germany. Then you get to keep your daughter, and your money -- since you are a programmer, you should be able to either telecommute or pursue a similarly-paid position in Europe.
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