Thread: Beast Mode
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      06-11-2015, 06:57 AM   #1
Falafel Combo
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Drives: X5 xDrive50i
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New England

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Beast Mode

As I'm leaving work last night, I thought I would try the cold start trick someone posted a few days ago on a different thread.


1. Stage one start (engine not running)
2. Sport throttle setting (M1 in my case)
3. Tap the throttle to open exhaust valves (engine still not running)
4. Start engine (cold start)


Now, mind you, I work in an semi-urban setting so there are usually a few pedestrians within a few feet of my car at any given point (main street).

So I went ahead and tried out this new start sequence (cold start, sport throttle, valves open), and just as I always do, I blipped the throttle a couple of times just to hear some more of that intoxicating rumbly sound, which is especially soothing to the nerves, after a proper day of hard work and being trapped in an office building for 10 hours straight.

I slowly raise my gaze from the tachometer, and I very cautiously begin to back out of my parking space. I briefly look straight ahead of me, and I see what appears to be a baby deer in the headlights. A 12-14-ish year old, very innocent looking girl with a look of sheer terror on her face. She's staring back at me, totally blank. Empty eyes. She was directly in front of my car (but several feet away) and she was totally motionless! Like she saw a ghost!!! In a few seconds her dad caught up with her, and called her name as if to make sure everything was OK. She was frightened! The only thing she could think of was to slowly walk backwards away from my car and ran to her dad, sort of hiding behind him, taking shelter from this beastly MONSTER she heard growl for the first time in her life! Poor thing was shaking like a leaf.

Such an unforgettable moment!

The dad smiled at me, and waved me to proceed (his daughter still shaking behind his back). As I passed them I rolled down my window and politely asked "I'm so sorry sweetie, did my car scare you?". "Yes, it's too loud!", she responded with some hesitation and a broken-up voice. "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you" I replied.

But I was totally lying! In my head I was thinking THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!! My car makes little girls cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dad smiled, and gave me a man-proval nod and half smile as if to assure me that he "gets it", and everything is cool ... but I could see his jaw muscles popping out of his face, and I could almost hear him grinding his teeth! I could feel a wave of heat coming from his direction, his blood boiling with jealousy!


Conclusion: Hide your kids, hide your wife.


Disclaimer: This story has been certified by the CSB society of north america. "Cool Story Bro" society is not responsible for the content of this ad, and does not endorse or condone reckless driving nor scaring pedestrians shitless while using their products. Please consult your doctor if symptoms of cool-ness or bro-ness persist. That ad paid for by the Loud Cars of America. Not available in all states. Must be 18 years or older to be a cool bro. Purchase not necessary. Void where prohibited. Please see your local BMW chapter for further details.



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